Isn't that annoying when we consider the theory and then 'continue' seductively without being involved in the practicality of the subject in question? Many men (and I deeply involved myself in this matter) often forget that one of the main factors in marital stress or adult partnerships, as far as women are concerned, is the problem of lack of safety and relational security.
Even Gen Y women, who challenge many traditional gender stereotypes, want to be loved this way. An approach that consistently consults with the language of love can do many things to create more safety and security for women:
Even Gen Y women, who challenge many traditional gender stereotypes, want to be loved this way. An approach that consistently consults with the language of love can do many things to create more safety and security for women:
Words of Affirmation
Send emails that are beautiful once in a while, not monotonous, but only to confirm your love. Affirming body language - a small push - always working at the right time, especially to reinforce affirmative words. Write warm and warm 'n' fuzzy sticky notes and place them under the pillow, in the lunch box or on a desktop computer so they can be 'found' when you are not there.
Quality time
Spend discretionary time - even if it's fifteen minutes - when it's not expected to be very special. Block the evening from surprising your partner (who you know is free) and pretending that the world stops just for the two of you.
Physical touch
Calm caresses in the room while watching television or movies. Physically suppress when reading a newspaper together, maybe with a warm and sincere 'splash' on the cheek without being told. Combine other forms of attention with your shoulders, back, or rub your upper arm. Foot massage! (There is nothing more to say.)
Acts of Service (Helping)
Even small things (especially) are taken into account. Do the smallest (and big) thing around the house. Think and plan ahead and do something / anything to make life easier, especially when there are no ties.
Gift-giving
Combined with the above but done as a surprise, it appears attractive to those who speak the language of love 'gifts'. Enter double-and triple-whammy. Don't discount for free. Free given with good thoughts and time is often the best gift. Usually people speaking the language of love gifts are not materialistic at all. Chocolate, flowers and diamonds ... in no particular order!
Note on intimacy
Intimacy manifested in the warmth of our shared communication is a measure of real satisfaction; of course, passion is important, but intimacy is the stone of true commitment, not passion. The right level of intimacy with spontaneity can also arouse passion. Intimacy is the essence of great communication - both verbally and non-verbally. The recapture of intimacy is sometimes also a problem recalling the past - what is it about the early days that send sparks of love shot in the air; even recalling the stories of dating and old courtship.
